Gerry MacCarthy, 50, retired nurse
I started hearing voices and hallucinating when I was 19 and doing my 'A’ levels. It came out of the blue. I was very stressed about my exam results and I refused to go to school. The voices in my head were confusing me. The doctor thought I’d taken drugs and so I had my stomach pumped but of course it made no difference. Finally they came to the conclusion that I had schizophrenia and I was admitted to hospital.
Discrimination comes from not being listened to by the doctors. At one point I was misdiagnosed by a consultant who said I’d been well for so long I couldn’t have schizophrenia after all and changed my medication, which had terrible side effects. Although for 20 years I’d been on medication which suited me, the doctor wouldn’t listen and for a long time refused to change it back. Because of that I lost my job, my flat and my neighbours complained. I was setting fire alarms off everywhere because I thought World War Three had started.
The neighbours I have now are very understanding. The chap next door has my mother’s telephone number in case I get into trouble. I was in the local paper recently talking about my schizophrenia, which worried my mother because she thought that the publicity would rebound and that I might be abused in the street. But in fact I’ve had only a positive response.
During a crisis I’m in another plane of reality altogether. I think the radio and television are directly talking to me and that other people are sending me messages. I get very excitable and am 'high' at inappropriate times. I don’t always have insight into my condition so I don’t see it coming - luckily others do.
I don’t tell people right away because they can easily jump to the wrong conclusions and think you’re aggressive. I know a young mother who has schizophrenia and the local kids have sprayed the walls with “THIS IS THE WAY TO THE MAD WOMAN’S HOUSE”. Schizophrenia is very misunderstood. People think you’re violent because they read about attacks in the paper but that’s a tiny, tiny minority. I’ve had an eventful and fulfilling life but sometimes I feel I’m not allowed to be happy, sad or angry in the normal way. People’s attitude changes when they find out I have schizophrenia. The label unfortunately carries a lot of weight.
FACT: Around one in every hundred people will experience schizophrenia during their lifetime. (Clinical Standards Advisory Group, 1994)
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